We so desire to hear those 3 little words, "I am sorry." If they are not sincere, what are they really worth to you? Throughout life people are going to do and say things that are hurtful and we feel that an apology is in order. Yes, it is, but, don't force anyone to give it and do not feel that there is no closure if you do not get one. Here is the key, if you can forgive and move passed it, it is better than an empty, "I am sorry." If something is on your chest let the person know, do not let them walk around oblivious to your feelings. It is not fair to consider it common sense for them to know that you were wounded by their words. It is best to have a moment with him/her to express how you feel, but, be prepared to put it behind you after that. If you do not get an apology, just use it as a measuring stick to govern your interaction with him/her in the future.
Too often, we feel that an apology equals closure. However, your feeling of closure is not predicated on those 3 little words. Closure really comes from knowing that you are whole without it. Have I had first-hand experience with feeling the need for an apology and did not get one? Absolutely, it took me a minute to realize that an apology is not going to provide closure for me, because, I knew that it would not be sincere. So, what did I do? I began to examine the character of the person as I came to see it. You may not come to anything in particular, however, take heed to how a person reacts to you from that point on. My Dad would always says, "You are what you are when you act." I found this to be so true and I measure accordingly. My point is, an apology is not needed to bring wholeness to you. You are already whole and if it never comes, it will not change the fact that you are whole already. It is not a good feeling to feel dismissed by anyone, however, keep your power. Do not give an inch of it away by persistently wanting someone to acknowledge your feelings. Sometimes, it just may not happen.
If you never get an apology, it is ok. You can now see a little clearer into the character of a person and can choose to be cautious. You want to have genuine people in your corner, who will acknowledge you when you are hurt and who will truly care about your heart. Do not be dismayed, instead, feel relieved about the revelation that you now see what you did not see previously. Would you rather an empty apology or sincere one? With that asked, assess, measure and govern things accordingly.
Last, but not least, pray for comfort of your hurt, counsel in dealing with it and look forward to an emotional growth spurt. Don't be arrested in this, wake up and see you as whole no matter an apology or not. Check out the video below. It is truly ok if you don't get those 3 words.
With Inspiration,
Oreadea
Jill Scott - When I Wake Up Posted By: Shonta Evans